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How by saying no to a big lucrative project, I said a big yes to myself

Or, how I said goodbye to my "people-pleasing" pattern

· detox,energy,stress

Recently, I did something that is “kind of out of character”. Even my best friend commented “you are not yourself”. What happened is, without realizing it at first, I was releasing some of my old patterns and, in the process, I made a decision that I would not have “dared” to make before.

It all started about a month ago with a request from a client & a belief of my own.

The request was from a client attending one of my local Energy Classes. They asked if I could give energy tips that would help with liver issues. So I obliged and gave the participants some proven energy medicine techniques to detox & boost the energy of the liver.


Now, there are 3 things you need to know about the liver, my energy healing practice and how I work with my clients:

  • First, the liver is known for being the seat of anger, frustration & rage. For this reason, as alcohol is an irritant to the liver, people can become more aggressive & break up into arguments after a few drinks. So when you work on that organ’s energy, you need to be also prepared to deal with the emotions that subsequently can be released.
  • Secondly, something that regularly happens with my healing practice is that one person might come up with one issue, and soon, often in the space of a few days, they are followed by 2 or more clients with similar problems. So, over a few weeks, most of my work focused on liver issues.
  • Thirdly, one important aspect of my practice as an energy healer is that when working on others, the energy work we do also affects my own energy, and I usually benefit from any energy healing session I run. This liver work I did was no different.

Here comes my belief (which I might add I have hold for many years) – I have no anger in me. Indeed, in the course of my energy healing work, I have dealt with many of my “negative” emotions & feelings. However, I have never directly worked on my anger as it has not really been an issue in my life. So I thought, “anger does not concerns me”.

Well, let me tell you how wrong I was!

To my surprise, through all that liver work, I released much frustration, anger & rage. The clues were subtle at first – I found myself offended (more than the ordinary) when people would push their way in a queue, or I would get overly annoyed at the teenager’s attitudes of my teenage sons…I got snappy, abrupt, intolerant, even aggressive, and frustrated by the slightest things (even inconsequential reality TV shows).

Finally, it took for me to say “NO” to a fairly lucrative project to realize what was happening.

The project had a tight deadline, was pretty complex & technical, however it was “good money” and I was “up to the challenge”, so I said yes to it.
Also, I had other reasons (in hindsight, some more conscious than others): the money would be nice, I cannot say “no” to a client (let alone to one of my main clients), I need to show (and prove to myself) I can handle stress, I can work under pressure, I have to be strong & professional, I could not possibly show any vulnerability… that would mean a complete failure on my part and could cost me future projects.
However, one day into it, after receiving a “not so nice” and most unhelpful email from one of the project managers in answer to some well justified routine queries of mine, and as it dawn on me that the project would involve a lot of unpaid extra work, I made the decision to CANCEL it!

I was the first one to be surprised by my decision, as cancelling this project was a complete departure from my “usual”. You see, in the past I would have kept at it… no matter what, despite the project manager’s patronizing tone (finding all kind of excuses for their behaviour – They are having a bad day, Who am I to judge them? I don’t know what is going on in their life...); anything to avoid rocking the boat, even if it meant I might not make any money, and both my family life & my own sanity would suffer in the process.

But suddenly, it made complete sense to me that I would not do a good job and that making that decision was for the best interest of all involved. By pulling out of the project sooner rather than later, I would allow enough time for the Project Manager to find a suitable replacement in time and I am sure there would be other projects and work opportunities coming my way. But most importantly, by saying “no” to it, I knew I was saying “yes” to myself, I was standing up for myself, honouring my own worth.

Incidentally, the liver is also linked to our eyes. By boosting my liver’s energy, my vision has become noticeably clearer, with a much increased clarity of thoughts. But the main change that this work has brought me is the release of that big “people-pleasing” part of me that, to some great extent, has ruled some of my most important decisions over the years. Releasing some hidden & deep seated anger has enabled me to step into my own power and left me with a deeper sense of my own worth. I can now be & act more honestly, knowing it is ok to say “yes” to myself. This newly found freedom to make choices that respect my values enables me to live my life with a enhanced sense of integrity.

Even though I already knew this about energy healing (and I often say it to my clients), once more, these events have confirmed to me that energy healing really “works in mysterious ways”. From working on detoxing & boosting the energy of the liver, I have released much unsuspected anger, frustration & rage, and I have most importantly let go of some deep-seated patterns of behaviour – all for the highest good of all.

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